From Facetime to Quality Time—Grandparenting in the Digital Age

By Emily King

Today’s kids are one of the first generations to grow up with smart phones, social media, and Google at their fingertips from the moment they are born. As a mom in my 40’s, we didn’t have dial-up internet until I was a teenager and I joined Facebook when you still needed a college email address to join, so I remember life pre-internet and how different it was. 

There are many perceived negatives to always being connected, but it also means that we have more new and exciting ways to connect with loved ones than ever. It’s easy to fall into the habit of comparing your tech-free childhood to theirs, which sometimes seems to revolve around screens. But if you keep an open mind, you can begin to see technology as a way to deepen—not replace—relationships.

Long Distance Bonding

Keeping up with grandkids when you don’t see them regularly due to distance or busy schedules is so much easier in the digital age. When you can’t give a hug in person, a video call is the next best thing and so much more personal than a text message or email. Facetime, Zoom, and other apps make it easy to connect via video chat. For younger kids, turn a video call into an engaging activity by playing “I spy”, taking them on a virtual walk around your garden, or reading a bedtime story. 

Distance isn’t just in the miles. I know when school starts back up and my kids’ sports and activities schedules seem to take over our lives for a few months, they see their grandparents less than usual, even though they only live an hour away. As kids get older, they begin to have their own social lives and are harder to keep up with. Send a quick text message to tell them you’re thinking of them, or a photo of a new recipe you’re trying. Even if they, or you, can’t respond in the moment, you can still feel connected when you’re not together. 

Sharing Photos and Memories

It’s easier than ever to take and share photos with phones that take better quality photos than some cameras. My family has a “shared” photo album that we can add photos to and everyone in the group can see. A notification will pop up when new photos are added and it’s something to look forward to. There are several platforms that enable shared photo albums, like Google Photos and iCloud, that make it easy to share. 

Social photo sharing apps like Snapchat are great for sharing photos with teens. You can send and receive quick silly photos with filters and even games. If you have apps like Facebook or Instagram, you can share photos with multiple friends and families. 

When it comes to posting photos on social media, we recommend only sharing photos of children on private accounts where you know all your followers personally, for safety and privacy. There are usually functions on these apps that allow you to choose your audience, like a close group of friends or family. Before posting photos of grandchildren, make sure you have the express permission from parents and the child if they are old enough to consent. I made the mistake of sharing a photo of my 12 year old that he didn’t like, and I learned quickly to get his approval before I do that again! 

Playing Games – Online and Off

I remember playing Scrabble with my grandmother, but she lived hundreds of miles away and we could only play when we visited a couple times of year. She would have loved playing online Scrabble or Words with Friends! Most of the games that you can play in person, like Scrabble, card games, trivia, and chess can also be played online. Nothing beats sitting across the table from your loved one, but in between visits, online games are a fun way to stay connected. 

You can play digital games when you’re together too. Both younger and older kids will notice when you take an interest in what they’re doing. If you’re baffled by Minecraft, ask your grandchild to show you what they’re building. You may be surprised at the skill and creativity that goes into some of their games. 

You may not understand your teenage granddaughter’s constant need to share photos and silly videos, but it’s her way of expressing herself and connecting with friends. Ask her what trends are going around at the minute, ask her to show you some funny videos, or challenge her to teach you a Tik Tok dance. The laughter and silliness is guaranteed to create lasting memories. 

Staying Safe Online

I can’t end this article without emphasizing the need to stay safe online and aware of the latest scams. Online criminals are constantly finding new ways to steal your information, and unfortunately, they like to target older adults. Never click on links in emails or text messages when you don’t recognize the sender. Don’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know in real life. You can stay up-to-date with the latest scams by checking AARP Fraud Watch Network and

Federal Trade Commission scam alerts. 

Showing interest in what your grandkids are doing with technology will give them pride and strengthen your bond. If you embrace change and stay curious, you can see technology as a tool to you closer to loved ones, not replace face-to-face interactions.